I say “Santos is a coyote”, but that isn’t quite true. The truth is, Santos’ totem animal is a coyote. He and his totem animal are always going on spiritual journeys together. They used to do it all the time when we lived together. When I came home, I would always smile, wave and say “Hey Santos! How’s it going?”. Sometimes he would ignore me completely, and other times he would just stare at me, or rather, past me…through me. At the time, I thought it was rude, but in retrospect, I realize that it’s just a part of his Native American Heritage.
Another part of his Native American Heritage that can be bothersome sometimes is his lack of a sense of ownership. For example, one time I bought a bunch of cookies and said he could have as many as he liked. He didn’t respond (probably on a spiritual journey again), ate most of the cookies, and never said “thank you”. Again, I thought it was rude at the time, but now I understand that he didn’t think they were “my cookies” or “his cookies”, but that they “belonged to the land”.
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe “the land” is the culprit here. It may be that he’s rude to me because the white man (me) took his land away. I guess a few cookies is a fair price to pay for all of America.
Like most Native Americans, Santos is very wise. He has a lot of “creative ideas”. One of my favorite “creative ideas” of his, is the idea that aliens are trying to transmit thoughtwaves into his head. He would protect himself from this by putting foil on his windows and hiding in a corner in the dark.
The truth is, I really like Santos a lot. I like him so much I made a video game about him. Incidentally, he never went through it, but that’s probably for the best, because in the ending, I tear him in half.